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Nigeria’s Bride Price app: reason for debate, but is it just a sly social commentary on days gone by?

Nigeria’s Bride Price app: reason for debate, but is it just a sly social commentary on days gone by?

Honey, so that your life will be sweet. Palm oil, to lubricate life’s aches. Salt, to protect and help keep you. Kola nut, i can not keep in mind precisely, it is it perhaps not sufficient that it’s the absolute most symbolically Nigerian thing, across all cultural lines?

Exactly what are these? Collectively, they form section of a “bride cost” – money and presents distributed by a guy’s household to a lady’s upon their wedding. At school in Nigeria, during Yoruba history course, we had been told about ladies who attracted extremely high bride rates, influenced by their attributes. Inversely, there have been ladies whoever bride costs had been therefore paltry, it had been an embarrassment. I do not recall the particular gift suggestions and whatever they signify any longer, but I really do understand that these classes for which we had been taught about our history had been, for contemporary budding feminists, a tough pill to swallow.

I’m contemplating bride price again this week, however, due to an app that is new’s been doing the rounds into the African corners of my internet life. Initially, I happened to be reluctant to create about that application after all. The narrative of Africa and Africans in the united kingdom as well as other Western, mainly white areas is really old, therefore outdated and false, so wearying, that we conserve African tales for my safer areas, places where there isn’t any empathy space. I like dealing with Nigeria without some internet complete complete stranger telling us to “simply get on it! ” referring to Africa – its good and its own that is bad on internet wears me down. So when we third-culture kids meet up, occupying that center area within the Venn diagram that overlaps our moms and dads’ countries with all the West’s, we are able to laugh about any of it. That is just what this software is approximately.

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The Bride Price app calculated that I became well well worth the “Premium Babe”-ly amount of 494,500 naira that is nigerianNGN) –about ?1,816. Just exactly How achieved it get to this figure? Via a few concerns, plus they are the star that is real of software. You’ve got the solution to check always “for yourself” or “for the friend/enemy” – because as Nigerians, something we have been constantly conscious of, even though we can not see or hear them, is our enemy.

Therefore, also I was smiling before I clicked. Then arrived the true concerns: my height; my fat (choices included the very”medium” that is standard and the harder-to-decipher “Mama Ronke” – so what does that even mean? ); my leg form (“straight”, “sexy bow leg (Beyonce)” etc); my facial beauty (from “intimidating” to “complete no try”) an such like. Each solution includes a value – no kola pea pea nuts here – often a “discount”, 60 percent if you should be unfortunate adequate to function as the indecipherable “Mama Ronke”. The software takes some time to determine the bride cost and provides a jaunty message with a blinking green shekere (a West African drum): “Please wait – the elders are consulting. By the end of the quiz”

The expression “if that you do not laugh, you are going to cry” appears, as part of your, to be manufactured particularly for Nigerians. The accepted narrative is certainly one of woe, a country lurching from pillar (of calamity) to create (of disaster) cuban brides at despite a reference wealth that may effortlessly function as the response to our dilemmas. The idea of bride price is a screen to your past, a past that will be not necessarily glorious or edifying whenever viewed by way of a lens that is modern.

But this software is sly – the nuance may possibly not be visually noticeable to all eyes, but it is here. Under skin color – which might or might not have had an impression on bride cost into the days that are olden definitely matters in the hierarchy of beauty today – comes five groups. “Half caste”; “Light skin”; “Dark”; “Whitenicious”; and “Lupita” (like in Nyong’o). The worthiness for every decreases as you get along record, you start with +NGN50,000. Issue answer and– choices simultaneously acknowledge the colour-struck manner attribute of a swathe of Nigerians, in addition to noting without fuss the product range of tints we can be bought in obviously. There was an level for the Lupita complexion, which can be a thing that is small although not.

There are some other markers. On teeth, a “white with gap” has got the value that is highest (my mom has expressed dismay that none of her kiddies inherited our grandmother’s “beautiful” diastema), while “Ronaldinho” is sold with a -NGN40,000 label. The positioning and citizenship concerns are fine “don’t cry – laugh” examples (America is released tops in both), and a Masters is desirable, however a PhD includes a penalty of -NGN100,000. Employment views oil and gas appear trumps (+NGN100,000); my journalism profession includes a value of just +NGN20,000. Fortunately, i will be “redeemed” by my English accent – the– that is highest respected at +NGN45,000.